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It’s two long years ago this fall
Since persuaded unawares
By folks I thought were friends of mine
To join a group of squares.
I was told of all the pleasure
That I would stand to gain,
But no one ever told me
Of all the work and pain.
Just fifty easy basics -
Then nothing else but fun;
I’ve now had about two hundred
And find I’ve just begun.
I wasn’t told of callers,
Those fiends behind the mike;
Whose ambition it is to torture -
I find them hard to like.
When you take leave of your senses
And join the square dance set,
A night of peaceful slumber
You never more will get.
You can’t escape the turmoil
Even when you’re in your bed;
All the action of the evening
Keeps racing through your head.
You hear that guy up calling
And you hear those haunting beats;
Did you ever try a curlique
While in between the sheets?
When you join the square dance movement,
You have not a ray of hope;
For you soon become addicted,
You’d be better hooked on dope
Now, getting back to callers -
They’re something else for sure;
They are never truly happy,
‘Til there’s bedlam on the floor.
They command your every movement,
They leave you not a chance
To hear the lively music
And, perhaps, enjoy the dance.
They’re always barking orders
As they stand up there and wail;
You’d sure have more freedom
In any common jail.
So if you’ve friends or loved ones
For whom you really care;
Do them a lasting favour,
Keep them a mile from any square.
You’ll never get to heaven,
If your friends you lead astray;
But will end up with the callers
Who all go the other way.
But when I pause to contemplate,
To assess the joy and pain;
If I were given a second chance,
I’d do it all again.
For there’s no form of recreation,
No activity ‘neath the sun;
Where you’ll find such friendly people
Or so much wholesome fun.
The Kootany Square Dancer Jan 1980
By Mary Schanland from Crandbrook BC
Typed for The Dance Connection by "Barbara Thomas" <bthomas@telus.net>
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